And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize