I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
