if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
