Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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