So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize