So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize