Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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