My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize