Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
