If i come over, it means nothing
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
