And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
