I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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