Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
