His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
