The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
