You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
