So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
