Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
