Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize