who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just forgot I was standing up.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
