She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
