I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
