It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
