hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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