just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
