he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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