She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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