do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
ugly people sure do ruin things
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
