do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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