the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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