dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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