Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
