I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
