so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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