I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
