Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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