if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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