btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
