Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize