it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
sarcasm needs its own font
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
