If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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