i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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