i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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