so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
