Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
