I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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