But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
