So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
