But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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