Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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