sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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