"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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