Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize