My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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