remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
