Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
