I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
