They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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