Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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