i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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