Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
